I would like to apoligize for being away but it has been a pretty difficult time for my family this last little while. We just buried my cousin after having suffered from cancer. I don't really want to go into the details to much but I do have something I would love to share with you.
During the funeral I obviously broke down bad even though I told myself id be strong for my mother and all my family who are suffering through this. I always thought that friends were a better bond then some family but I might actually be wrong.. I am Italian on my mothers side and that can only mean one thing... my family is HUGE. As she was being buried I couldn't stay and watch/hear the screams of my family so I walked away and ended up with my older cousin. I haven't seen him in about six years because our lives are so different. He's 5 years older then me, we live so far apart, he's even been in the USA training as a firefighter for a bit. But with all that time between us when we both couldn't handle the pain and had to leave he was there wiping my face of the crappy Kleenex and tears like we hadn't been apart at all... We grew up together always together, hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of us together and little ones, but times went on and life changed... But i guess sometimes blood is thicker.
I found this all because of him, as soon as we saw eachother we had the customary greeting of the double cheek and hadnt stopped talking until we found ourselves on opposite sides watching our family weep. We ended up far away from everyone, where we could no longer hear the agony of our brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, cousins and friends. We just spoke for a long time about how we are to weak to stand by and watch out family in pain with nothing to do to help them. It was a long afternoon but what really got me is our goodbyes. The day was over we stood up and hugged each other, but it wasn't any old hug that the rest of our family got, all we did was say a few simple words "not a funeral" Now you all may be a bit confused, or maybe not if this is the sort of thing that has happened to you. With a family the size of mine it is very difficult to see echother on a regular basis especially when we all live so far apart and all have our own jobs and separate lives, we always know we will see eachother again at a funeral as most of our family is older and the younger generation are not exactly ready to be married yet. "Not a funeral" is simply a promise that we made to eachother in that single moment, a promise that we will not wait for another funeral before we see eachother again. We will not wait for a marriage 5 years from now, we will see eachother soon and I look forward to that day.
Never Back Down!
Never Give Up!